“Work is Prayer too.” (Thank you Br Andrew Efo)
He is the man without property or home who has no place to lay his head (Mt.8:19, Lk 9:58, From Jesus of Nazareth by Pope Benedict XVI, which I highly reccommend)
Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
I didn’t know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.
Have you ever wandered for so long that looking back was just not an option? Running, at times writhing in the same direction for days, or months or years? The comfort of God is a grace for the journey, but what if for most of the journey you did not know Him? You served as your own tour guide, pace setter and compass. You took the plan that was handed to you and just went with it. What if the months turned into years and you realized somewhere along the line, you were running, moving forward, but actually going in the wrong direction.
Work, it should be a prayer. It’s movement and purpose. Its everydays. But work for me has been my greatest struggle. The choice of career before meeting and knowing the great God of this universe, the choice made before I had the ultimate tour guide of all, Jesus.
I am sure I am not the only one. Running forward but feeling backwards. Holding onto a career that is letting you go. No letting go yourself. At times I feel like that over-emotional wreck of a girlfriend begging my career not to leave me, and other times I am loving it because, well, like so many relationships, it is just there. I am afraid to just let it go.
There is no bible verse that has been able to console me, no poem or song that has moved me. My career has drawn me into the deep of prayer, and I have cast my net all night long, waiting for Jesus to tell me where He would have me go next.
My dream, my career is intimately intertwined with the God who made me. It has taken me some time to accept that. I have tried to break the two apart, but to no avail. Like the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, it is part of who I am.
And as I drank and became intoxicated with the words of the gospel last night, I saw the fishermen bringing their boat to the shore.
They left everything and followed him. And I imagined myself in that boat, Jesus calling, showing me where to go, bringing me to shore.
I love him even in the depths of my despair. I trust him even though I can’t see him. I imagine myself on that shoreline, looking back saying, “He did it, he did it for me.”
Lord, get me to the shore.