“for never can that heart be satisfied which seeks anything but God.” Madame Martin (The Story of a Soul, The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux)
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
“I know the Psalm, but father, he knows the shepard.”
We never do seem to be satisfied. We tie ourselves inextricably to events and people, that inevitably will always disappoint us. We expect people to live forever. We expect our jobs to bring us happiness. We are searching, longing for happiness. We can smell a rose or stop and pause in the midst of a memory. But no scent, or image or person or place will ever bring us what we are truly seeking.
It is a difficult task to remove yourself from worldly things. From the worldview of what happiness is or what it is not. From the images we see of what we should have. For the friends we’ve lost that we know deep down are just no good for us. Some of us hurt ourselves to compensate for the pain of an unsatisfied life. We use drugs, deliberately sabotage our relationships and pretend for the masses. Because if they’re o.k., we’re o.k., even when we are not really o.k.
Whether you know it or not, you’re seeking the truth. The meaning of life. What I am trying to attain? Am I merely a passing shadow from here to there or does my life mean more than that? Only the silence and time can reveal that. Only love can reveal that. But those things don’t exist in the hub of our busyness. Finding what you are looking for is a solo journey, without the clutter, opinion or commentary of those that have no idea what’s in your heart. But I promise you this, you’ll never find satisfaction in anything other than God. Everything else is merely fleeting, a mirage, sand slipping through our hands.
As much as we claim to be spiritual beings is as much as we fail in that. When our souls are crying to be attached to God but we keep clinging to the things of this world like a baby blanket that we just can’t let go of. If only we could become the love we speak of…
The closer we get to that great light, the farther away we drift from the world. And that satisfaction we feel is unlike anything else. It is an interior longing filled, a fire, a body revived, a soul come alive. It is hard to be understood after you have encountered the God of the universe. But when He is living and breathing inside of you, people take notice.
Why else would so many words fill so many pages about the love that God extends to each and every human being? The apostle Paul knew it, Peter too. The pages of the gospel read like out of body experiences, sometimes seemingly so far away. But God, He is only as far away as you want him to be.
The world needs light, it is dark. The world needs hope and mercy and something bigger than ourselves. He is so present and tangible, even in our fingertips. Our inner wrestling with God is our inner wrestling with ourselves, trying to make ourselves believe that what the world offers us is better than He could ever be. Who in their right mind would leave the only life they’ve ever known to follow a God that they cannot see?