My hands were shaking, but I am not quite sure why. I quit my job, I am not sure where I am. I am not yet a full-time mother, not yet a professional writer, but somewhere in between. I sat in the pew while I watched my family from the other side of the church. Today I am serving communion.
I couldn’t hear my son asking me how much longer, or my daughters arguing over who will sit next to me. I couldn’t see my husband’s annoyance that they don’t stop fighting, even in church. But the air was not quiet. There were enough little children in the pews today that they sometimes overshadowed the priest. I was not alone…
But I missed the rumblings of a million questions, shh’s and the back and forth anguish of separating my fighting children. The room seemed a bit overwhelming. I was between here and there.
And then I saw the faces of my children across the way sitting next to two people who came with us, two people who once left God because they felt they were not accepted. And I remembered all of the days I spent praying and inviting and praying some more. And I thought back to those days, knowing that one day I’d get to see this picture. And it was so much more beautiful to see across the way. Those two people with my children. Those two people who felt unloved and unaccepted. Those empty seats next to my children that were now filled with two of God’s children. Two more souls to dance with in heaven.
And the thoughts of my career began floating away, they stopped existing. I wasn’t busy, I was staring at a crucifix. I felt myself let go a little. I felt myself breathe.
I had to let go for my children. I had to let go for the things Jesus had for me. I had to let go for the people who have yet to know Him. I had to let go in order to sit at His feet. I didn’t feel like being busy anymore, I was ready to choose the better part, the better part.
As they continued their journey he entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary [who] sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”
The gospel of the Lord