children · God

Don’t be Mad at God

Lawyer- an interpreter of the Mosaic law (Luke 14:3)

law– something laid down or fixed

moral relativism– anything goes

When my youngest began wreaking havoc on my life at the tender age of 3, I figured she’d grow out of it. The extended terrible two’s turned into the thrashing threes and now have extended into the seething sevens. It’s not that my daughter is a bad child, it’s just that her emotions get the best of her. Rather than explain her anger and frustration or hide away somewhere, she instead gives into her “fight or flight” response by leaning towards fight. I am the meanest mommy ever. She hates me. I am a bully.

After dealing with this for four years now, I have become accustomed to the revolving door that is my daughter. I have read books and articles and studied all of the DSM 4 possible diagnoses. Lawyers are trained to research and find answers; and while I may not always respond the way I should, I never stop pushing forward to determine the right cause of action. 

In the midst of reading my latest book on these strong-willed kids, I stopped about forty pages in. The Holy Spirit silently shut the book and I knew that I would never pick it back up again. The Christian has turned secular, I thought to myself. No not because of ideology, but because we’ve adopted the theory of a one size fits all mentality. We’ve become them.

When I first came back to writing, I read everything I could about how to break into the business. The articles and books were all the same from the secular perspective. Here’s the “magical” formula, use “these” titles to guarantee a lot of traffic, you “must” do this in order to be a blogging success. The thoughts did cross my mind that some of these “experts” might be right, but the Holy Spirit was clear. There was no magic formula. There was only God and His will for me.

And I saw this when I finally closed the book and listened to the Holy Spirit. He gently whispered,

She is a unique child of God. There is no other like her. I have created her in my image and likeness. What works for one does not work for all.

And don’t we do that with the way we treat people? We become like secularists, feeling entitled to reconcile things the way we want to, not the way God wants to. We treat people as groups and not as individuals. We are no better than them.

I found some worth in an article that simply peddled love and forgiveness. It wasn’t from a Christian based blog. It had that dreaded magical numerical formula “the top ten reasons why” or “the three things you should do,” but I read it anyway. Once I got past the ads and formulas, I read the substance and it stuck. Instead of hearing “I hate you” I heard “I need you” (“3 Powerful Words to Use When Your Child Says I Hate You”-Dayna, Lemon Lime Adventures).

So even within the secular blogosphere, God was there. I had to get past the “Christian” titles and secularist theories to get to a blog that confirmed what God had just said to me.

She is a unique child of God. There is no other like her. I have created her in my image and likeness. What works for one does not work for all.

We had another blow up yesterday. She told me she hated me. I heard she loved me. She told me I was the worst mom ever. I heard I need you. It took her four hours to hug me; I still cried. But this time I cried for her, not for me. I realized God does the same for us.

We can think we’re right and stick to it. The law is fixed. And the mosaic law was not abolished by Jesus, but fulfilled. by Him. He told us to look deeper, to look through it, not over it.

When we see the law for what is says and not what it is, we are just as guilty as the Pharisee. We can bring our gifts to the altar, but not before we are reconciled to our brother.

“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.” 1 Samuel 15:22 NLT

A gentle reminder this morning that we are all precious in the sight of God, each as unique individuals. Be willing to think outside the box. It’s not the adoption of moral relativism, but the revelation of our Mighty Creator who sees us each for who He created us to be.

** If you have an “angry” child, read Dayna’s article, it is well worth your time**



5 thoughts on “Don’t be Mad at God

  1. Lovely post,Melissa. What you’re dealing with now will soon pass – all too soon. Treasure the good and the bad. The time we have them is so short. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sounds like Brenton and me all over again–and it got worse in jr high and high school…
    thankfully, we all survived….
    his trouble is what I have concluded to be a high frustration level—he has dealt with frustration stemming from the learning disability and then being picked on for being a good kid while in school, to not being seen as a smart person, which he is but rather one who can’t seem to write legibly like an adult or test well or not have to struggle academically…throw in the ADD with a wandering attention span and it was a toxic mix growing up—sprinkle the teacher controlling mother on top and bingo—WWIII
    but you are so right in your observation about garbing the latest self help books by the latest greatest experts—yet it is in the whispered wisdom of the Holy Spirit where the answers are to be found and keep holding on to that wisdom cause you just wait till puberty….. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s always in the whispers! When I stopped reading, stopped doing, abandoned all of my own thoughts and traded them in for His, I was able to see her the way He sees her. I also understood the confusion and hurt she must have been feeling- so mad about nothing but to far gone to reach out. The last two days have been tough, but I am getting tougher!

      Liked by 1 person

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